Living needs some rough operative belief framework. We are guided by a broad worldview, and idiots aside, it changes as we harvest days. I can't speak for most, as I've mostly kept away from them, but I have experienced the 'self' moving through life with various belief systems - idealism in the teens, realism for most of the twenties, and cynicism in last few years. And I mean not to say that the phases were lived in pure observance of the mentioned isms (there are overlaps and some remnants). In fact, memories do not feel like a lived past but arrive more as a watched movie (and the character seems completely unrelatable). All this constitutes the premise of whatever this is going to be. So, before memory fades, I need to note some remaining trends of the current 'ism'.
Ok! What is cynicism? I don't know exactly, but I know how to reach there. First, build high ideals in life. Then, find that ideals mean squat! Then, without completely flushing the ideals, try to operate by sticking to how the world really works. With all the observations you made to get to the reality (whatever that is), feel utterly-butterly disappointed with everything and everyone around. From the ashes of your efforts will rise cynicism - expecting the worst from everything and everyone. It will not be all bad - it won't require you to impute ill-intent on individuals. You will stop seeing others as agents and will visualize them only as puppets. Cynicism will just make you believe that everything will work out only in the worst way possible.
If the belief system operates on a system of disbelief, it can arrange your thoughts and actions in curious ways. A lot could be talked about, but I'm getting cynical about this piece now. So, I'll note down only a few illustrations.
One noteworthy consequence of expecting the worst is living in constant anxiety. An upcoming event or a new feeling brings (before any excitement or preparation) a tonne of palpitations and panic. Most things, hence, feel like a burden. And all efforts are put to bring them to an end. All allotted work must be finished at the outset; no outing must be planned with new people; if such an unholy thing is unexpectedly entered into, then all sorts of excuses must be prepared to run away. There is a push to walk swiftly and exit; to avoid any novel stimuli. Cynicism, thus, puts one in paralysis. Alive, but unwilling. You can call it institutionalized fear.
What about things that have been put off for a long time (or that depend on others for legitimate conclusion)? Well, first, you try to work alone as much as possible, because trusting others is a luxury you cannot afford anymore. And any leftover work that sustains for too long exists as a monster. You need not say boo! Just say PhD!!!! AAAAHH!!!
This should be enough (and is), but anything said nowadays without addressing the one thing that attempts to delegitimize a senior bachelor's existence (marriage) would not be complete. The dearth of trust brewed with abundance of fear is not the best recipe for entering that institution. While the arranged path appears no less than the Fangorn Forest (read Lord of the Rings), the alternative is no less eerie. First, you roam around the world with the principle: "लंका निसिचर निकर निवासा, इहां कहां सज्ज्न करि बासा". A world that generally repulses you does not remain a fertile ground for developing attraction. And even if, by some miracle, you feel that emotional pull - that desire for devoting oneself to the other - it does not come charged with the will to impose or chase or pursue or whatever you people call it. Cynicism is not a place where you would invite people you love and adore.
So, is this cynicism any good? Maybe! It sure is not efficient! But it does seem to be a defense-mechanism - attempting to protect the child by caging it in - the cage will hurt, but the world will kill.
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