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Do people eat food anymore?

Hungry people need food. People who know how (and love) to cook can feed them. In the ancient times, when Socrates was being taken to the Dikasteria, at surrounding restaurants, customers sat at tables, chefs cooked in the kitchen, and a few waiters served the food.

Then, Socrates died, and the visionary managers came crawling out of their caves. They realized that feeding people at restaurants was too mainstream (commonplace; unimaginative; very inside the box; use of brains and common sense - ye sab kaun gadha krta h in this post-thinking world). This person who has never picked the ladle (can't even understand what ladle means, and on reading it just thinks "meow.. gop gop") enters the kitchen, looks at the experienced chef working at the stove, and thinks, "He is wasting his time cooking. He should be strategizing." Idiotic questions like 'strategizing about what', 'for what purpose', and 'why at all' are not things he thinks about; he is an out of the box thinker (so he has burned the box). 

The poor chef is put to the side - along with his stove, vegetables, flour, oil, and spices. Space is made for whiteboards - ye hua na khel (out of box soch liya gya h... koi kuch nhi bolega). The chef is allotted some minor (ekdm chote chote, not at all problematic, jo na kr paaye wo politically incorrect things) administrative tasks. He has to count the pieces of onions, potatoes, bhindi, zucchini (ameer sabziyon k bhi naam pata h; patla nhi.......) after every chopping and dicing session. The potency of onions shall be tested, and the tears it evokes shall be collected for deeper analysis and survey. Also, the janitor was sick and has not returned to the job yet, so his position is discontinued. Who knows about cleaning better than a chef? So the pokemon named chef is made to evolve into janitor-chef (let's call him JC now onwards). 

So time passes. This JC person asks the sparkling and highly seated manager for a sharp knife and fresh produce. He is told that "true culinary excellence doesn't require tools; it requires resilience." 

The hungry customers arrived to eat something. But the tables have been removed, and there's only a giant projector screen. As soon as they enter, it blasts into a long elonquence of bougie words making them feel tingles all over their body, and giving them goose bumps. Once the customers revive from the ecstasis, they find the room to be locked. The Manager's friend is there, and he shall talk about Disruptive Boiling today. The friend kept talking, JC kept up with his backlog of onion audits, and the customers heard some noises from their stomach (which has to be ignored now as nothing nutritious can yet be identified). 

A few more years. No one is cooking in the kitchens now (kitchen hi nhi bache h ab restaurant me; har jagah sirf whiteboards aur projectors). The hungry have forgotten the taste of real food. JC has no suppy of onions anymore, but still has to fill in the tear samples everyday. Luckily, he does not need onions to cry anymore. His existence is sufficient. 

Well, Socrates is dead, and the food has lost its taste, and I need some good Chhole Bhature! 

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