So what is it that makes someone attractive?
I mean, it is only a fleeting biological urge that turns a head – a spark that flashes and fades in a moment. But then there is another kind of attraction — the kind where a single set of eyes become the only reality in an ocean of people. They have a pull so magnetic that the sense of self willingly surrenders, eager to submerge itself entirely. This is not mere infatuation; this is nothing like the experience of romantic love. Unlike the usual relationship urges – which are controlling, obsessive and largely selfish – this is complete and utter devotion.
What makes
someone ‘that’ attractive? How does a person become so vital to your being that
they become impervious to the doctrine of severability—where to remove them
from your memory would be to strike down the very foundation of who you have
become? I mean to say that even when they are not with you, they move with you
constantly like a physical absence in your being.
I suppose
the answer could be found in a proposition similar to that universal rule of
taxation: “no attraction without intellectual intimidation.” Yet this
intimidation has nothing to do with who holds more knowledge or who can win a
debate, or a comparison of academic prowess. This intimidation is born of a
profound emotional and existential intelligence in the other. It is the awe of
watching someone navigate the messy, abstract, and unpredictable currents of
life with an effortless grace.
Maybe we
are devastatingly drawn to those who possess the peace we must work ruthlessly
to achieve. For a mind that is constantly churning—forever analyzing,
deconstructing, and battling its own internal friction in the pursuit of
clarity—watching her handle with ease the very things that cause you anxiety is
not just impressive. It is deeply soothing. She becomes a psychological safe
harbor. You are not just attracted to her; you are moved by her way of being in
the world. Maybe we feel devotion towards people who elevate our understanding
of what it means to be human.
When a
person introduces you to an entirely new way of experiencing the world, they do
not just leave memories when they go; they leave a permanent imprint on your
psychology. They become the lens through which you continue to view life. The
deep ache of missing her exists – heavy and undeniable – but it rests right
alongside the pure, profound gratitude of having known her. The pain of the
absence is slightly softened by the sheer joy of the encounter.
And yes!
One more thing…the eyes! It is why centuries of songs and poetry are helplessly
devoted to a single gaze. Because a look is sufficient to bind your soul in a
spell you never wish to break. They are eyes that blind you to the noise of
absolutely everything else, burning steadily as the only truth left in the
world. When the mind is finally quietened by someone’s presence, the eyes are
where that silent, undivided devotion is communicated.